Natural Beginnings

It has been over a year since my last post...yes an entire year! It has taken me some time to admit that through the work on my doctorate degree which gave me a new academic writing voice, I lost much of my creativity along with any time I might have had to post here. But.. I missed you. This time around, I will not promise posts every two days, or once a week, or twice a month. Instead, this year I want to do things more as I naturally feel they are right for me. So with that being put out there, I will post as I feel that the time is right. So to get started, and get caught up (as much as I can remember), here are some things that went down during my hellacious year of life in 2013!

1. I graduated from the University of Arkansas in May of 2013. It was a quick trip with my loved ones to the NWA mountains for a nice ceremony and lunch at one of my favorite guilty pleasure eateries The Catfish Hole! Upon returning to my beloved DFW Metroplex, my parents hosted a graduation dinner which turned out to be lots of fun.
2. Cohabitation- Yes, this lady who LOVVVED living alone and gaining more of an awareness of how much I enjoy my space and ability to decorate the way I want to, took the plunge and relocated with my man. The transition was anything but difficult, in fact it has not been bad at all. We love our new place, love fixing it up, love that it is ours, and love each other enough to know how to give each other some space to enjoy and relax.
3. Part-Time Blues- I am not sure why I called this the blues...but many people would think that it is. However as you know, I don't care what people think! In order to work on my finances and savings to put some of my longest held dreams and goals into action, I decided to take on a part-time job. From September - December I worked an extra 16-20 hours a week and needless to say, I damn near killed myself. I took some time to relax and think during winter break, and this year I am down to 8-10 hours per week. Although this has caused me to once again re-evaluate some financials, I have also learned a valuable lesson about my personal well-being, mental health, and that money isn't everything. I am now thinking about dropping the other gig all together, but will take some time to make the appropriate decision for myself.
4. Summer Time- Work kept me pretty busy from summer to fall, but I did have some fun along the way. This summer I...
1. Went to Maryland for an innovate work conference
2. Planned and Co-Hosted a family reunion in H-town!!
3. Traveled to San Antonio with my boo and a great couple of friends
4. Visited NOLA for a good friend's dirty 30 birthday weekend
5. Lived it up in New Braunfels and San Marcos shopping and visiting the amazing Schlitterbahn water park with my favorite lady, my mommy. 
6. And spent much needed time with family and friends all over the place
5. Two Best Memories- Again, the year was jammed packed with ups and downs, joys, excitements, weigh gain and loss, tears, and laughter. But I must say, that the absolute best part of it all were two of my favorite 2013 memories...
1. Attending the Inauguration of President Barack Obama in Washington, DC. It was a long trip, with expensive entertainment, food and travel, as well as some really cold weather. But nothing could compare to being there live and in person to witness President Obama being sworn in for a second time. This is a day and the weekend was an experience that i will never forget. I shared it with some great people, who I traveled with all the way from little ole BCS Texas
2. But even more so that Mr. Obama, was the best Christmas I can recall having....probably ever. Cooking, talking, laughing, eating, and playing games with family and friends was great, but even more so was the little event that happened after we toasted in celebration of my parent's 35th wedding anniversary... My Love Bryan got down on one knee and popped the question!! Yep, he proposed to me and the antique/unique/family ring and the experience were absolutely priceless

So I guess I can say that 2013 was a really eventful year, and even though I did not do all of the things I wanted to do, I did do quite a bit and I am so blessed to have lived to tell the story of another wonderful year. I cannot wait to continue to share the journey of what 2014 will bring for me and those I love. Thanks for continuing to stick around and put up with me. Laters! 

Wellness Recharge

Wellness Recharge

A new year brings new opportunities for change. In a fast paced world with political struggles, an economy still in need of much repair, violence, social media wars, weather disasters, and recently another flu outbreak, taking care of yourself and overall wellness is becoming increasingly important. One of my goals this year is to take an active stance in increasing and maintaining my overall wellness. That means more attention and intentionality in the way of my finances, career, physical and mental health, , spirituality, and in my personal life.

I recently read in article by Gina Roberts-Grey that included some great advice and tips on recharging the mind, body, spirit and maintaining wellness. Below are some of the tips from the article:

One of the first steps in recharging yourself, if getting a clear and honest understanding of where you are now. This means taking some time to assess your overall wellness. One way to do this is to create a personal roadmap by doing the following:

• o   Take four sheets of paper and label them with the following: “Relationship”, “Health and Wellness”, “Business and Finances”, and “Spirituality and Faith”. Make two lists for each of these categories. One list should contain things about that area that you do not love or things that need to change. From that list circle the first two things that you want to being making improvements on. It can be the two things that are most important to you. Then on the other list write down the steps that you need to take to help you achieve those goals.
• o   Find an accountability partner that you can trust to keep you on track. Share your roadmap with them and establish a system of accountability. Be sure that they know that no matter what, they are to help hold you accountable!
• o   Set short-term goals and checkpoints of the course of a quarter. Be very specific and realistic about these and be sure to inform your accountability partner.
• o   Remember that each time you accomplish one of your short-term goals or successfully pass through a checkpoint. CELEBRATE! It is ok to boast about your success. This will motivate you to continue.

Personally, I have decided to use the next week to create my road map and find an accountability partner. Then I will begin on my journey to wellness!

Source: Essence Magazine, January 2013. 

2012 Reflection: 2013 Goals

Happy New Year!

2012 has been an extremely interesting year. I have had some challenges, and transitions to encounter and work through, but all in all it was full of blessings. I completed the coursework for my doctoral program and I am writing away on my dissertation, I left the current state and job I was in for a new opportunity which I have yet to regret J, I met a wonderful man am have been in a great relationship for about 3 months now, I lost about 10 pounds (that I managed to keep off), I exercise a little more and eat a little better overall, and I strengthened and let go of some relationships with friends and family members.
 Looking back over the past year, I have no regrets, but I do know that there are some things that I need to continue to do better and some goals that I would like to accomplish in 2013. I thought that making a list of these goals and unleashing it “virally” might help me keep myself on track and in check….So here goes: Professional1.    Continue to transition & learn. I have been on my latest job for 7 months now and I am enjoying it, but know that I need to step up and challenge myself even more.
2.    Decide on my next employment move for 2014 J3.    FINISH My DISSERTATION & Graduate on May 11, 2013!!
4.    Professional development- attend and present at 2 conferences (minimum in 2013).
5.    Keep my resume & vitae open and updated
6.    Work on POP!!! Make a list of goals to grow this business, save up enough for my incorporation & website and make it happen by December 2013!
7.    BBS- Post at least once per week, market to a target audience, build our network, clientele, and inventory.
8.    Move forward with the Empowered Apparel Launch!
9.    Meet at least 4 new people to add to my network.
10.                  Find a professional mentor
  Financial1.    Save each month in both savings accounts & DO NOT spend any of the money J2.    Pay into my individual IRA 12 times this year ( 1 per month, or at least 12 times minimum)
3.    Begin a rainy day cash fund
4.    Look at credit report & clear up any needed items
5.    Pay more attention to my investment portfolio. Learn more about the stock market!!
6.    TRACK MY SPENDING!
7.    Shop less & spend less overall
8.    Begin savings for first property purchase & new car fund
  Personal1.    Say “NO” when I NEED to, and be at peace with it.
2.    Lose 30 pounds J, Lose at least 10-15 by graduation
3.    Plan a good birthday event for Bryan and myself
4.    Work on being more patient & positive at ALL times
5.    Serve my community & others less fortunate than myself
6.    Love Bryan (really understand all that it entails and what it means to be a significant other, and do a good job at being his partner)
7.    Cultivate better relationships with family and friends (let some people go, and change some relationships, give more to myself)
8.    Love myself, and be positive and happy about my successes, but always remain humble
9.    Enhance my spirituality & relationship with God
10.                  Learn to meditate for real, and do it
11.                  Exercise regularly (jog, meditate, yoga, martial arts or dance!!) JOIN A GYM!!
12.                  Try at least two things that I have NEVER done before, but that I think are really interesting and/or cool
13.                  Help others & be the best Devan I can be
  Other1.    Help my brother plan an amazingly awesome family reunion for July, 2013
2.    Go on at least 2 vacations
3.    Never let fear inhibit my ambitions
4.    Act, and not just dream & plan
5.    Write, Write, Write (complete a book of poems, short stories, or essays, and begin a novel for publication) JThat’s all I can think of at this time, but I am sure that I will come up with more. My goal will be not to delete anything on this list, only add and make minor edits as needed. With this blog in 2013, I want it to be more about my journey to obtaining each of these personal goals.

So... I've been baking

One of the ways that I have been relieving stress lately is through baking. I am truly enjoying researching new recipes, baking, and sharing the goodies with those that I love. Here are some pictures from my dad's birthday cake (for his 60th), which was a three layer devil's food cake with chocolate butter cream frosting and a layer of fresh strawberries and glaze. The other pictures are from a batch of chocolate chip m&m cookies!

Obama Urges Congress to Help Put Teachers Back to Work

Obama Urges Congress to Help Put Teachers Back to Work: With students heading back to school, President Obama is accusing Republicans of wanting to cut education funding to give tax breaks to the wealthy, saying their economic plan “undercuts our future.” “This year, several thousand fewer educators will be going back to school,” the president...

"Situationships"

I recently read an article in a magazine about the expectations and desires of young Black/African American women on romantic relationships and getting married. Within the article was statistical information from a variety of sources and researchers alluding to the overall desire of more than 50% of the women surveyed for getting married despite the issues they seem to believe are present among the "pool" of available Black men. Some of the issues included: 1. Gender differences in communication styles, 2. The seemingly inability to be monogamous, 3. Social values on gender equality, 4. Social & family pressures towards women to marry, 5. Black men on the DL, and finally....the one that I found most interesting...6. The influence of social media, and its effects on communication between men and women, and how this further hurts the pre-existant challenges associated with the communication styles between genders.

Within the article, was further explanation of how social media and text language, as well as dating website profile misperceptions, twitter and facebook posts, relationship and status updates, and a host of other challenges to overcome. To me, the most interesting challenge discussed were the differences between how men and women communicate and how this leads to communication breakdowns, misunderstandings, and misconceptions about everything from the actual relationship status, to clearly defining what each person in the relationship wants and needs. I believe that what was stated regarding men believing that they can have meaningful conversations and truly "get to know and be known" by women of interests through text messaging, IM, BBS, and other forms of instant messaging as the sole or majority of the communication. Women on the other hand, prefer to communicate less via messaging and more face-to-face and if they have to, over the phone and via video chats for long distances. It would seem to me (although I may be totally biased) that the best way to truly ensure that one is understood and understands the other, is to openly communicate and ask questions regardless of the mode...I do believe that having the opportunity to observe and experience someone in person and in certain surroundings and environments does have a greater influence on one's perception...simply put, it is more difficult to truly understand and get to know someone if you do not spend any time with them, but if you clarify statements when asked, ask questions when clarification is needed, and are honest with others about yourself, it is not completely impossible.

Call it the romantic in me, but I do think you can date "long distance" and online, or whatever...and still have an actual "relationship"....but it is going to take a vast amount of mutual understanding, expectations, desires. Both people will have to be on the same page, and when doubts and misunderstandings arise, bring them up and settle them in a timely manner.

In the latter part of the article several scenarios and personal stories of dating and relationship disasters were cited by various women who also believe that misunderstandings behind social media and messaging either ruined or significantly hurt their relationships...yet in the end, 71% of the single Black Women surveyed stated that they do still want to get married, except unlike 20 years ago, when the average age women wanted to get married was 25...it is now 30 with 35 being the second average age...so it seems that Black women have not given up, they are just willing to wait longer to find the right person and the right relationship in order to avoid "situationships".

What dreams may come

In the last couple of weeks, I have had some very good discussions with a certain "gentleman friend" of mine. LOL. I realized after talking to him earlier today about his goals and dreams that although they are much different than my own, they are still just as important to him as mine are to me and should be taken seriously. After some reflection, I found myself a bit irritated when I realized that I have been unfair and judged him a bit....Everyone has a different story, full of different experiences and different desires. He wants to work hard to achieve something that is meaningful to him, and instead of just being encouraging to him, I did the opposite at first. Though not directly to his face, I did kind of look down on him for wanting what he wants. Like I said before, his goals and dreams are much different than my own. But in reminding myself of how far I have come, and how much I have grown and being more of an understanding and open person, I realized that I was wrong. He has goals and dreams, and a plan to work towards achieving them. Compared to many men I have met recently, that is far more than most of them have at this point. He is doing something and wants more out of life and that is a good thing. So often I think only of my own path and how much I want to achieve, so much so that I compare others to myself even if only subconsciously and I can be a bit critical at times. What I need to do however, is stop analyzing what others are doing and be glad that I am surrounded by people who are hard working and willing to go the extra mile to make their dreams a reality. To each is own, and now I finally understand what that means. For everyone out there who wants to reach for the stars to get what you want out of life...go for it! With hard work and dedication and more than likely some struggles to overcome, who knows what dreams may come. Good Luck!