Teeth

So....yesterday morning I went to have braces put on my teeth.  Yes that is correct! It may come as a shock to many people because I did not really announce it or inform many people, but I made the decision about a month or so ago, and yesterday it went down. Though after finding out or seeing them on my teeth many people told me my mouth would hurt for about 1-2 weeks, I must say it has not been bad thus far. Today has been more sore than yesterday, but it has not been intolerable. I do however know that when I go back for an adjustment in August, it will hurt much more.

A few people asked me why I decided to get them, and well.....there are a couple of reasons. The not so obvious one is that I have been wanting to do several things to myself for myself. Not sure if that makes sense, but I just mean that there are some personal adjustments/changes (that are physical) that I have been wanting to make. One of them was to grow my hair out again; another is to lose 50 pounds, and another is to get my teeth "fixed". I want a smile that reflects pretty, straight, white teeth. Right now I do not have this. My gap has been an ongoing issue where I have struggled between wanting to close it or leave it open. The decision to correct my bite and gap was not an easy one, but I feel good about it.

Correcting my bite (once an overbite but after the first round of braces of 10 years ago, it is a cross bite now) will help me with some jaw, gum & nerve issues I have had. The gap "fixing" is more personal. Those who know me and  my family well, know that almost everyone on my mother's side of my family has or has had a gap! It seems to be some sort of trait. Though several people have had there's closed (including my mom & brother) after it did not work out for me the firs time (which was partly my fault) I decided not to worry about it. The interesting part about this is that the decision to get braces again is actually a personal one that doesn't have anything to do with me being ashamed of it. One of my co-workers told me (after she saw my braces) "you look pretty in braces, but I always liked your teeth and smile. Your gap gave you character. I have always thought that gaps were unique". The interesting thing about this is that I kind of felt the same way. Often times I would forget or not even think about the fact that I had a gap.

I believe that most of the self-adjustments or improvements that I have made in the past did not work out for a very clear reason.....Because I was not doing them for myself. Losing weight, cutting my hair, dressing differently, braces etc.....were all based on external factors, guided by what others thought of me as well as what was considered to be accepted or "beautiful".

Now, I am doing things and making decisions that are working out for me because these are things that I want to do. The decisions are only motivated by how I see myself, feel about myself and want for myself. I think that is why (although at a much slower pace) I am transitioning to a more confident, content place where I am at peace. I look in the mirror and even though there are some more things I want to work on, I still love myself and can accept and like what I see. When you do things for yourself, it's amazing how much more the results will mean to you. Regardless of what anyone else thinks about my changes and/or motives, I am confident and excited to see how I look, where I will be, or what my life will be like even a year from now. Though the my teeth are just a small step in the right direction for myself...it is one that is very important and unique to who I am. Whoever would have thought that teeth could be so significant? :-)