Plenty of April showers have brought some much needed May flowers and greenery to the city.
As things wind down for me (at least for a while) with classes and work, I am reminded of where I was this time last year.
I was excited about graduating with my Master's Degree. Hopeful about going into my doctorate program to obtain another degree and excited and anxious to move again. I had a wonderful summer, and an awesome vacation with a good friend.
Now fast forward a year and it seems that things have somewhat drastically changed for me.
I am having a difficult time coping with who I see when I look in the mirror.
I believe I may be falling in love with someone whom I shouldn't feel so strongly for. And I have lost much of my self- confidence.
What I need is a fresh start.... This summer is my challenge to myself to do so.
I am one of "those people" who believe that it is alright to invent and reinvent yourself!
Who I am on the outside, isn't necessarily all reflective of who I am on the inside. For me this summer is the perfect opportunity to take some time to get to know myself more and love myself.
That is my over-arching issue. I have lost Devan, and I need to find her.
That once care free, full of life, positively spirited young lady has grown into someone who constantly doubts herself. I cannot do this anymore.
This summer will bring about the opportunity for many changes in my life. It is time for me to be honest with myself as well as others about who I really am. Like previously stated, I know that this is going to damage or hinder some of my once close, personal relationships....but the time is now. After all, isn't that what summer is for?
I feel the same way, I started last summer by ending a relationship that had gone sour, I branched out on my own and I significanly altered my approach to finances, health, and relationships. But strangly now, I find myself involved with the same woman that I ended the relationship with, my finances and health are stable, even improved, but definatly not moving towards my ultimate goals at the rate that I promised myself they would. But check it out, I'm not discouraged, I'm encouraged, for you and for myself. I agree that there's never a point where anyone has to just accept that anything is out of their control, you say you want to invent and reinvent your self and I say I do too!!! And more importantly I can't wait to meet, hang out, and get to know the new you. I know our new selves will still be awesome friends!
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